


Through the Looking Glass

by Skasha



Series: The Healer and The Bard [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Justice is all wound up with no where to go of course his mind is going to wander, Light Smut, M/M, Mutual Pining, Polyamory, established Anders/Male Hawke, pre-justhanders, pre-polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-10 01:42:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15939161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skasha/pseuds/Skasha
Summary: Justice is frustrated. He’s stuck in a strange world with strange rules and strange people that he’s still struggling to understand, but Hawke wants to help.OfcourseHawke wants to help.





	Through the Looking Glass

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I updated this series. I have a bit more free time these days though so hopefully I don't accidentally do another year long hiatus.

Justice would have sighed in resigned defeat if he could have, but between him and Anders they only had the one set of lungs …and currently Anders was using them. It was late at night and Anders was starting to nod off at Hawke’s writing desk. Which meant it was time for bed. Justice was filled with a mild dread that he tamped down quickly before Anders could notice. Instead of sighing -and partially because he wasn’t capable of it at the moment- he mentally nudged at Anders until he got his attention. _“Go to bed. You require **rest** , Anders.”_

Anders jolted upright in his chair at being mentally nudged and then frowned. “Not yet, Justice. I just need to write a few more pages.” 

_“You said that an hour ago.”_ Justice said primly from the back of his mind. It was late at night and Hawke was still out on a job. Normally Anders would be following along for it, but Hawke had said it was something that needed stealth more than anything else. Anders had followed him all the way to the door still trying to come up with ways he could help so he could come along. Hawke just shook his head and laughed, and then pulled Anders forward suddenly and kissed him _thoroughly_ before running out the door and dashing through the rain. Anders had stood alone in the entrance with a racing heart and grinning like an idiot for a while after. Justice had… 

Well. 

He’d sulked after that kiss, if he was being completely honest with himself. 

Anders paused where his hand had started to re-dip his quill into the inkwell. “I… hm. I did say that, didn’t I?” He chewed on his lip and a small swirl of heat pulsed through Justice’s energy at the sensation. Justice stifled a groan. 

He quickly pushed aside any thoughts before they could form; he could fantasize once Anders went to sleep. …And then later feel a gnawing **guilt** about having those fantasies, but not right now. Anders miraculously still hadn’t discovered Justice’s feelings for him, and frankly Justice thought it needed to stay that way. Anders and Hawke had finally started dating two weeks ago. Justice had never seen his friend so _happy_ before. And as much as it pained him to watch, he _was_ happy that his friend was happy. Hawke was just as devoted to bringing about mage freedom and had helped immensely with their work with the underground. Really, despite his attentions to Anders, Justice could probably like him. Might have been easier to decide though if he wasn’t so unsure if the human was a thief or not. Hawke _seemed_ decent enough, Justice thought with a small flare of what he kept telling himself wasn’t jealousy.

Anders leaned back in his chair, and then pressed a little harder popping his back against the backrest. “I can feel that, you know.” He said lightly. 

Justice froze before he forced himself to speak -with what he hoped was a casual tone of voice. _“What would that be?”_ A small shudder worked it’s way through his energy. If he’d had a heart beat it probably would have been racing. 

Anders let out a sigh as he got up and started changing into his bedclothes. “That feeling. I can feel your emotions just as much as you can mine. Something is bothering you.”

Justice relaxed slightly and absentmindedly let his energy ebb and twist gently through Anders’ limbs, just a small soothing swirl. Something that for a spirit would have been equivalent to touching another person’s hand, if Justice had to compare it to mortal behaviors. He completely missed the way Anders breath stuttered. _“I am well. I appreciate your concern, but truly it isn’t something you need to worry yourself with.”_ He noticed that a deep flush had spread across Anders’ cheeks while he’d been talking. _“Your heart is beating rather fast, are you alright?”_

“Fine, I’m fine.” Anders said quickly. 

Justice felt Anders block whatever emotion _he_ was feeling, but decided not to press the issue. His friend had stayed up late enough as it was.

Anders finished getting ready for bed and laid down. Within a few minutes Anders relaxed that last little bit and then he was asleep. His body slowly began to faintly glow as Justice felt himself slip into loose control of Anders’ body. 

Which meant it was Justice’s least favorite time of day. Since becoming trapped on the mortal plane he had slowly come to realize that humans needed sleep. Rest was not optional. Despite what his friend occasionally claimed.

Which to be fair, Justice hadn’t realized at first that Anders had been joking when he’d drunkenly proclaimed one night back with the wardens that “sleep is for the weak.” Oghren had cheered and no one had denied the declaration, so Justice had assumed that sleep was just some type of bizarre cultural hobby. Especially since humans and elves dreamed while dwarves did not. It had taken an embarrassing amount of time for him to find out that mortals (including dwarves) slept, not because they wanted to, but because they _needed_ to. That Anders had a horrible habit of not sleeping enough did NOT help with that discovery, and it still made Justice feel guilty that he hadn’t realized faster that his friend had been neglecting himself. 

But Justice wasn’t a human; and not only did he not _need_ sleep, he wasn’t _capable_ of it. He had discovered early on that if he moved around too much it would wake Anders. Justice could open his eyes just fine without waking him so he had that much at least. If he was careful sometimes he could sit up. He sighed, out loud and with breath this time as he tried to think of something to occupy his mind. His thoughts drifted back -almost of their own volition- to how it felt when Anders bit his lip earlier. Justice groaned and firmly tried to think of something - _ **anything else**_ \- to occupy his mind.

Maybe he could count the- He stopped mid thought and looked around the room with a small amount of despair. He groaned and laid back against the pillow again.

There were precisely 9,342 spots on the ceiling. He knew this because he’d run out of spots on the ceiling to count two nights ago. There wasn’t anything _left_ for him to count in Hawke’s bedroom.

The boredom in and of itself was a living nightmare. 

He had a short -but heated- debate in his mind about how wrong it would be _precisely_ to spend the night fantasizing about Anders and eventually cracked. He really did try not to think about it, but even spirits have their limits. 

He relaxed as he finally -finally- let himself imagine having his **own** kiss between Anders and himself. An impossible heady idea of what could have been had he been born of flesh and blood instead of an incorporeal spirit. Just an idea he had sometimes with only the vaguest impression of what he might look like as a human. First he’d slowly press Anders back against a wall so he could hear Anders’ breath hitch. Watch his pupils dilate as he leaned in, capture that first moan on his tongue. Maybe Anders would grab a hold of Justice’s shirt and pull him closer. 

A bright flash and a small shudder worked through his frame as he imagined the mage flicking his own tongue out to meet him. Maybe even wantonly gripping his backside pressing their hips together, grinding into him slowly at first. Eventually he’d move on to bite and kiss his way down the mage’s throat. Anders’ memories had shown Justice that there was an absolutely _delightful_ spot just under his ear and whenever a partner nibbled there it turned him into a panting gibbering **mess**. Maybe he could-

-The door to the bedroom creaked open suddenly which startled Justice and made his head jerk up. Hawke came in looking tired, his lute held loosely in his other hand, and stopped dead in his tracks. He stared dumbfounded at Justice. _“Of all the unforeseen luck”_ Justice muttered. He sighed in defeat and dropped his head back down onto the pillow with an annoyed flash. _“Hello, Hawke.”_

“I… ah… I’m going to assume that since you’re glowing and that is definitely **not** Anders’ voice that, um, I’m speaking to Justice right now?” Hawke looked much more awake and came the rest of the way into the room. He set his lute carefully down by the fireplace all without pulling his gaze away. 

_“Most astute.”_ Justice said dryly. He glared at the ceiling and tried to calm his thoughts. 

Hawke made a hm noise but made no motion to approach the bed. The only sound in the room for a long moment was the fire as it occasionally popped. This was bound to happen at some point. Justice had tried talking to Anders about this. That he needed to talk to Hawke about how he came out at night. Among other things really. Anders had been hesitant to bring up anything and everything that he deemed “weird” around Hawke. Eccentricities and anxieties and nightmares were all hidden or denied. Some couldn’t be hidden from or explained away; Hawke knew that Anders was prone to panic attacks, and he knew Anders was housing a spirit. 

But the fact that Anders could actually still _talk_ to Justice -and did so on a regular basis- was a secret that Anders had clung to. A secret that helped chase some of the nightmares away when they became too much, and a comfort unlike anything he’d ever had before. A friend who knew all his secrets and loved him anyway. It had been hard enough for Anders to believe that someone could accept him _before_ Justice had agreed to help him. It was harder for him to believe that anyone would peacefully accept the idea of two people occupying the same space simultaneously. Which didn’t even begin to cover what chantry folk called their situation. 

Justice hadn’t liked the lie but went along with it for the most part because it calmed his friend. But he had reasoned with him that at the very least Hawke **should** know. If Hawke actually loved Anders, then he would love him “weird” and all. Showing only the parts easiest to explain but then hiding the rest behind a nice looking mask did not constitute real love. And if Hawke didn’t accept the parts of him _behind_ that mask… Well. Then he didn’t really _deserve_ Anders’ love after all. Anders had balked at testing how real that love was. Eventually Justice had decided that he could give his friend time to warm up to the subject at his own pace, but clearly he should have kept pressing the issue instead.

Hawke eventually took a few more steps until he was closer to the bed. “Is everything alright?”

 _“Pardon?”_ He looked back at Hawke. 

Hawke waved a hand. “You’re out. Usually you don’t come out into the physical world unless Anders is in danger.” He paused for a moment. “I kind of doubt there’s danger if the two of you are in bed, but I thought I’d ask.”

For a moment Justice was distracted by the impossible mental image of being in bed _with_ Anders. Heated breath and tangled limbs writhing. Slick skin pressed close as their movements became more urgent. Anders moaning _Justice’s_ name as he cums. And, _oh,_ he **could** moan so sweetly too. Justice’s mouth went dry with _want_ before he swallowed hard and looked away, his lights flashed bright and warm. Shame and guilt twisted sharply in his stomach, and his lights dimmed slightly. He knew that wasn’t what Hawke meant in the slightest, but his mind had already been on the topic before Hawke had walked in. Very carefully Justice eased up until he was in a sitting position, and gave a relieved sigh when he was sure that he hadn’t accidentally woken Anders with his movements. _“We are both fine. Anders is asleep right now. I had been hoping that he would speak to you personally about this issue, but he has been avoiding the matter. …I can’t sleep.”_

Hawke made a sympathetic noise at that and said, “I know how that feels. I can get you some tea with honey?”

Justice looked back at him and shook his head. _“No, I believe you misunderstood, though your offer of tea is kind. I mean to say I am incapable of it.”_

“Incapable of drinking tea?”

Justice raised a brow and said with a clipped tone of voice, _“No. I meant I do not sleep. I am incapable of it.”_

Hawke moved forward and sat down on the edge of the bed near him. He tilted his head curiously. “Just… never? Not even once?”

Justice huffed. _“While I have come to understand that sleep is a mandatory requirement for mortals, I do not have such a requirement, nor the ability to partake to satisfy my own curiosity.”_ He shrugged and then winced when the movement made Anders stir in the back of his mind. He waited a moment and Anders slept on. Justice lowered his voice just in case, _“I had not realized that sleep was related to health until some time after joining with Anders.”_

Hawke let out a small laugh. “Yes a ‘Mortal’ does indeed need sleep to be able to function.” He smiled and it looked like he was about to tell a joke when a frown spread slowly across his face. “Wait. What do you do when Anders sleeps?”

_“There isn’t a lot I can do. If I move around too much it wakes Anders. Lately I’ve tried counting whatever is in the room when it happens. It’s tedious, but frankly my options are rather limited.”_

Hawke’s expression morphed into something closer to horror. “Counting?”

Justice frowned at Hawke. _“Do not mock me, mortal. While Anders and I discussed things very diligently before we agreed to join there have been a few contingencies neither of us thought of.”_

Hawke shook his head with a frustrated look, “No, no I’m not making fun of you, just wait here a moment, I have an idea.” And then he ran from the room. 

Justice glared at the door. What was he talking about? ‘Wait here’ indeed. It wasn’t like he _could_ get up; it would wake Anders. Maybe Hawke really _was_ making fun of him. Justice’s expression crumbled, he absently started picking at the sheets, and his glow began to dim. He missed being with the wardens. He didn’t regret his choice to help Anders, but he missed being involved in conversations. Having friends to talk to. 

Other than Anders this was the first time someone had decided to actually _talk_ to him in years. He loved Anders dearly, but he wanted to have a community again. At times being inside Anders’ mind but unable to move or talk to the people outside felt a little like being trapped inside a looking glass. He missed the warden commander and his long talks with her. He missed Nathaniel and his gentle sincerity. He even missed Sigrun and her tricks. 

He missed his friends back home in the fade. 

He felt another pang of hurt when he realized they probably hadn’t even realized he was missing yet. Time had never meant very much in the fade, or just didn’t work at all sometimes. Centuries could pass as easily as a sigh there, and occasionally he used to go off on his own for a few decades at a time while working. They probably thought he was just out on another job. Suddenly Justice felt more alone than he had in years, and his lights dimmed even more than they already were. 

A few minutes later, just as Justice was really starting to let himself wallow in his fears, Hawke came charging back into the room with a determined look on his face and a tall stack of books in his arms. He piled them on the bedside table next to Justice. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I got a little of everything.”

Justice looked at the tower of books and then back to Hawke. _“I don’t understand?”_ He said with a small flicker. 

It was Hawke’s turn to frown at him. “Books. You can read books. I have a whole library that you can choose from. And we’ve been talking just fine so if you want someone to talk to for a little bit, I’m awake,” he waved a hand at the stack, “but yeah. _Books_. I mean, if you want to. It’s something to do.” He trailed off and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, his expression had slowly become unsure under Justice’s staring.

Justice looked back at the stack, warmth bloomed in his chest, and his glow became a little brighter and more stable. He rubbed a finger reverently over the leather bound spine of one of the offered books. _“I would like that. Very much.”_ He reached for the book on top -a history book- and with slow careful movements pulled it down to rest in his lap. He looked back at Hawke and felt himself flushing, his glow gave an awkward flicker, _“The books I mean. Being able to talk for a while would be nice as well, but I would not want to impose on your time unduly. You need your rest.”_

Hawke grinned and it lit up his face, not literally unfortunately, Justice had spent years outside the Fade at this point and it never ceased to unnerve him that no one glowed. But strangely that smile was still just as happy looking. “Na, you’re not imposing, I’m offering, and I’m not really that tired yet. What’s on your mind?” He sat down on his side of the bed and propped himself up with his back against the pillows.

They spent the next two hours talking. Mostly just going over Justice’s impressions of their group and Kirkwall in general. Being able to finally give Hawke his opinion -whatever the subject- was a huge relief. 

Justice was amused to discover that even when talking to a fade spirit Hawke was just as earnest and excitable as ever. There weren’t many big cultural questions that Justice still had; Anders usually spoke with him in the evenings after clinic work about that, or during the day if it wasn’t too busy. Hawke had questions about life in the fade, and it was reassuring somehow to find that Hawke knew as little about regular life _there_ as Justice had known about life in the mortal realm when he’d first arrived. He was more than happy to talk about it though; it was helping his homesickness. 

There was one thing though that struck Justice as being the strangest of all; Garrett didn’t seem afraid or wary of the answers. Even the warden commander -eccentric elven mage that she was- had taken time to warm to the subject with him.

Sometime in the last hour Justice had taken to softly running his fingertips over the cover of the book still in his lap, and lazily tracing the indents on the cover from having the gold leafing pressed into the letters. Eventually his curiosity was too much, _“Talking about the fade doesn’t seem to bother you in the way most mortals seem to be, is this because your father was a mage, and free of the circle’s influence?”_

Hawke was leaning more heavily against the pillows by that point, and his eyelids had begun to droop. He gave a small sleepy smile, “A bit I suppose, but it’s probably more to do with my father being Dalish.” He paused as an uncomfortable expression past over his face and he tensed up before deflating and looking away. He started talking again with a falsely calm tone. “Other than Anders all of the human mages I’ve ever met always seemed overly cautious about anything and everything that comes from the fade. When I was growing up my father used to talk with the spirits occasionally. I’d help him and mother draw the salt circles sometimes. Make sure everything stayed safe. Bethany and Carver would help sometimes too when they got older.” 

Justice’s brow creased as he thought about that. The first time Hawke had invited Anders back to his uncle’s house Justice had remembered noticing the large amount of salt circling the room. He had thought it was a coincidence at the time, but now he remembered how the mortal had suddenly relaxed when they crossed the threshold. Interesting. _“I did not know your father was Dalish. …This is not something you have told Anders about. I would have heard.”_

Hawke was quiet for a long time with a serious look on his face before he softly said, “...I didn’t mean to tell you about that. I haven’t told many people. I wasn’t really planning on ever talking about it. Things have… It’s usually gone poorly anytime someone found out.” He fidgeted for a moment before he took a deep breath and continued, “But you’ve shown me yourself tonight, so… It makes since to do something comparable. Even if it was an accident. And I guess… I guess it means I’ll see if Anders really does want all of this.” 

Justice felt his chest tighten with emotion. He placed a hand on Hawke’s shoulder. _“That is honorable, Hawke.”_

Hawke chuckled quietly and the tension drained away from the room. Justice let go of his shoulder. “We’ve been curled up in my bed talking for hours now, you and Anders are living here with me and my mother. Please just call me Garrett.” 

Justice blinked and then smiled back at him, _“As you wish, Garrett.”_

Hawke- … _Garrett_ went to sleep on his own side of the bed shortly after that. He had paused briefly with a small sad look before smiling one more time at Justice and then lay down on his own side of the bed. He was asleep within a few moments after that. Justice found himself wistfully thinking about the last two weeks, that Anders and Garrett would fall asleep in each other’s arms. It had been soothing in an odd way. For all of his complaints he _had_ liked how Garrett would snuggle up to him in his sleep, but Garrett hadn’t been aware that he had been snuggling up to more than just Anders; this was more honest. 

Justice was surprised to find himself actually blushing at the memory, but then brushed off the reaction. He reasoned that it must be normal to enjoy the contact, Anders certainly did. There was no reason he should read anything sexual into his reaction, surely. 

He flickered uncertainly before he shrugged and decided to set the thought aside for the night. He opened the book in his lap; there was no hurry to figure out his own reactions and he was far too curious about the books. 

 

Anders woke that morning to find himself in a sitting position, seven different books scattered over his lap, and a slight crick in his neck. He blinked a few times to make sure he was really awake. Justice was thoroughly engrossed in reading and didn’t notice right away. “This isn’t the strangest way I’ve woken up, but it’s up there.” He said absentmindedly as he cast a small healing spell on his neck. He glanced to the side at Garrett which broke away Justice’s view of the page. Garrett was still asleep and faintly snoring. Anders smiled sleepily and stretched before looking back down at the books.

Justice perked up and swirled inside Anders’ chest happily, _“You’re awake! Did you know there are 15 distinct breeds of nugs recognized by breeding officials, and over 20 sub-breeds? I believe the Blue Highlander might be my favorite.”_

Anders blinked and a bemused smile spread across his face. “Nugs. Why are you reading a book about nugs?” He yawned. “Actually no, why are there books? _How_ are there books in bed?” he asked. Anders rubbed a hand over his face and stretched again as he tried to wake up. 

_“Garrett brought them up from the library for me.”_ Justice said happily with another happy swirl of energy and then started to share his memories of the night before. Which made Anders freeze once the words caught up with his sleep addled mind.

Justice presented the memory of Garrett and Justice first talking. Guilt and worry swirled through Anders, but Justice pressed forward, determined to stop his friend from continuing to hide. Anders kept quiet after that and continued to pay attention to the memories that were being brought forward. Justice sidestepped anything that came close to his feelings, and Anders didn’t mention the blank spots. 

Anders blinked rapidly and huffed at Garrett’s idea of books, before deflating and saying quietly, “ _ **I**_ should have been the one to think of that. I’m sorry, Justice.” guilt swam through his words and he started to stack the books back on the bedside table. If he had been a proper spirit his lights would have dimmed. Justice firmly wound his energy through his friend’s energy space to stabilize him. And while the mage wasn’t a spirit -and therefore couldn’t glow properly or have a nonexistent glow stabilized- it still had the intended effect of giving a small measure of comfort. Anders usually called it a hug.

The bed creaked quietly as Garrett stretched like an oversized cat before going still. Anders turned to look at him and both of them froze. 

Garrett spoke first, “I guess we need to talk.” Anders tensed up at that. Garrett sat up and paused before scooting closer to Anders till they were sitting shoulder to shoulder. 

Anders relaxed slightly when their shoulders touched. He fidgeted and then sighed, “Yeah, we should.” They both went silent again. 

Justice flickered in the back of Anders’ mind and watched with a small thread of worry. Mortals -in his own personal experience- had proven to be finicky mercurial creatures. Baffling and infuriating at times? True. But, he had _some_ hope for them.

Garrett broke the silence first with a joke (of course he did) but they finally started to talk. About everything actually. 

Twice Anders tried to back away again from speaking so openly, and each time Justice had none of it and shoved at him mentally till he went back to talking. Garrett for his part showed some concern for how Anders would react to his parentage, but seemed much more concerned with how Anders would react to finding out he wasn’t Andrastian and would never willingly become one. Justice wasn’t inside Garrett’s head so he had to just go off of what was being said out loud, but eventually both men seemed to ease into it. They laced their fingers together, and finally began to speak about their hopes and fears openly with each other. 

Halting at first, each unsure of what would really happen if they spoke honestly, but as they each spoke their voices became firmer. Anders finally started to notice that Garrett really **was** listening to him. Justice wasn’t sure where exactly the tipping point was -somewhere around the point where Anders fervently promised that he would never try to convert him- but eventually Garrett’s shoulders relaxed and his frame melted into Anders. After that their voices became more relaxed once they each saw that the other was ready and willing to support them.

Justice smiled and relaxed slightly as he watched them finally start to work things out. …And then balked and tried to bury himself deep in Anders’ subconscious when the conversation inevitably led to the two men getting increasingly handsy with each other. He **had** seen them have sex before, of course. There wasn’t any way for him to avoid it. But… Something had changed with his opinion of Garrett during their talk the night before. Or maybe it was while observing the conversation that morning, but whatever the change he didn’t feel emotionally distant from what they were doing anymore. 

Garrett bit at Anders’ neck making him moan, and Justice felt an answering spike of heat burst and spark through his own energy. He resisted the urge join in, to coil and surge through Anders limbs, and instead curled himself into a confused ball of emotions in the back of Anders’ mind. 

There was a small pause where Justice was too distracted by his own epiphany to do much more than panic. And then he realized the two mortals had stopped and Anders was trying to get a hold of his attention.

“Justice? Are you all right?”

He uncurled slightly and noticed that Garrett and Anders were still sitting close but had stopped kissing. _“I… Yes. You can go back to what you were doing. I’m fine.”_ He was not fine.

Anders snorted. “Riiight. Hypocrisy doesn’t suit you, just so you know.”

Justice bristled at that but deflated just as fast. _“I…” He paused trying to figure out how to phrase it, “It occurred to me that I, we never clarified with Garrett if he was **amenable** to… Well no, not amenable, per say, that is. Just if he’s, and he doesn’t **have** to of course, that would be silly, but-”_

“-Justice, you’re rambling.”

“I have to say it’s a little odd hearing only half of a conversation.” There was a small pause before Garrett quickly added on, “But very cool.” He said while grinning and watching Anders with a rapt attention. 

Anders flashed him a grin. “Normally I pretend I have to go to the bathroom if I need to talk to Justice.” 

Garrett opened his mouth and closed it before trying again. “Wait. Is _that_ why you run off to the bathroom so much? I was starting to think you had bladder problems.” 

Anders snorted. “You’re killing the mood, love” 

“Does it still count as a mood killer if I got you to laugh?” 

Anders pinched the bridge of his nose trying and failing to hold back another laugh. “Yes, now hush.” and turned his attention back to Justice, giving the spirit a very pointed mental nudge.

Justice steeled himself, if they could meet their fears so could he. Well. Some of his fears at any rate. _“I have no way to **not** watch, and I have found myself becoming curious.”_

Anders eyebrows shot up at that. “Curious? What’s wrong with curiosity?” 

Justice uncurled a little more, _“Is Garrett really alright with me being curious about… your activities? It feels like I am prying.”_

Justice had few worries about _Anders’_ reaction from what he’d seen of his memories. Growing up in the tower meant little to no privacy; you either got over the idea that other people were going to know (or possibly **see** ) what you were up to OR you just didn’t have sex at all. Most of the the chantry officials seemed to think that the lack of privacy would stop any sex from happening; instead it mostly made the mages to lean into any latent exhibitionistic tendencies they might have. It had never quite reached orgy levels while Anders was there -and not for a lack of trying- but it had certainly edged close to that a few times. Anders had eventually considered the lack of privacy a perk because he knew his sex life pissed off the templars.

But Justice also had Kristoff’s memories of his time with Aura. The married couple had been very quiet about their time together. No suggestive comments given to one another. Candles were always promptly blown out before they got in bed together, and they were only intimate once a week at most -if at all. For that matter Justice couldn’t remember them doing half the things he’d seen Anders and Garrett get up to, and not only because they were two men. Kristoff and Aura only ever seemed to do that activity in one position, and always in bed. Whereas Garrett and Anders only ever seemed to take the bedroom (let alone the bed) as a very vague suggestion rather than the rule. Not to mention the way that he had seen Kristoff and Aura talk scornfully about other people doing anything more made Justice a bit on edge when he considered what Garrett and Anders got up to. 

He couldn’t read Garrett’s mind and wasn’t sure where he stood on all of that. For that matter he was still trying to figure out what the correct way for mortals to have sex was.

Anders caught Justice’s last thought and gave a surprised laugh before he could stop himself. “There isn’t a ‘correct’ way to have sex, Justice. I mean there’s _safety_ things and consent, of course, but not everyone blows the candles out when they fuck. I think Kristoff was just kind of a prude to be honest.”

Garrett snorted, “Now you **have** to tell me what’s going on. Don’t leave me in suspense, love. What’s Justice worried about?”

“I _think_ he’s worried that you might secretly be a prude.”

Justice squawked at the same time that Garrett laughed. “Justice you really don’t have to worry about _that_ , I mean… Love, can you just let him out for a bit?”

That one stopped Justice mid rant inside Anders’ head, and made Anders’ eyebrows shoot up. “I… huh. Yeah sure.”

Justice’s light flickered with worry as he came forward and briefly considered just refusing to come out. Garrett hadn’t moved from where he had pressed his own shoulder to Anders’ though now Justice was on the receiving end. He felt himself growing warm with the contact and the encouraging smile on the mortal’s face. And that was part of the problem.

“Hello again, Justice.” Garrett smiled and waited quietly. 

Justice felt even more flustered, but he took a deep breath and said, _“How are you so calm that I’m here? Or rather…”_ he paused for a moment to try and figure out how to word it properly. _“Are you really alright that I am aware of your activities with Anders?”_

One of Garrett’s eyebrows went up. “You mean sex?”

Justice felt his cheeks suddenly heat even more as his light pulsed with embarrassment, and silently cursed having a physical form. Light pulses were predictable, he knew how to read that. Though really he probably wouldn’t have minded so much if he was a little better at reading mortal body language. _“Yes, if you must put it so bluntly. Sex. You… Why haven’t you become upset by this?”_

Garrett’s face cracked into a huge grin but his laugh was quiet. “Ironically you’re not the first person to ask me that.” He sighed, his head tilted as he studied Justice for a long moment with a calculating expression. “Are _you_ uncomfortable watching?”

Justice opened his mouth to say of course he was, and then stopped. _Was_ he uncomfortable? He definitely had emotions forming centered on Garrett that weren’t there before; a tangled web of confusion. He really wasn’t sure what those emotions were yet. Or what to do precisely with those emotions. Just that the idea of no longer being involved in whatever he’d gotten dragged into with these two mortals made his heart hurt. But the idea of accidentally taking more than he was being offered -the idea of accidentally hurting either Anders or Garrett- **that** hurt more. _“No, I am not uncomfortable. I am… curious. Are you uncomfortable though? I apologize for repeating myself but this is unfamiliar territory for me.”_

Garrett’s smile took on a rueful edge. “No. My family moved around a lot growing up, I told you a little about that last night.” Justice nodded. “When my hormones kicked in as a teenager it was the first time that people my age in villages wanted anything to do with me. I was good enough for a tumble but nothing else to a lot of them. And for a while that was enough for me.” He shrugged. “I couldn’t make friends with them, but sex was almost always on the table, and even if their friendliness was fake, it felt like I belonged. But it only ever lasted as long as I was on or under someone.”

His smile took on a sharper edge to it. “Once I figured out that it wasn’t as much fun if I didn’t at least _like_ the people I was with… Well, sex with strangers lost a lot of its appeal. But I don’t see any reason why anyone should be ashamed of sex -lots of people have sex- and I’ve never minded if someone saw me having sex.” Garrett flushed and went on, “Actually it can be kinda hot sometimes.”

Justice flickered again as he digested that thought.

“Being with Anders is… this is the first time I’ve had a partner who knew **exactly** who I am and wanted me for me.” Justice felt Anders energy swell with a sudden burst of emotion and love on hearing that from where he was buried inside. 

Justice took a deep shuddering breath at feeling that love second hand, and almost reeled with it. _“Thank you for explaining.”_

Garrett bumped his shoulder into him gently with a smile. “It’s no trouble. You live here too.”

**Author's Note:**

> One of the advantages of writing my own stories is I can make _literally_ as many “Alice in Wonderland” references as I like. So if you noticed a few references mixed, why yes actually, that _was_ indeed on purpose.


End file.
